A Concise Arguement About Everything

Losing and leaving and loving and lying are all interconnected by something that is unseen and unheard but untouched and unscathed because we are too afraid to realize and finalize and actualize and perceive that these things might actually be. It’s not hard to write and fight and be right or even wrong but it is admitting those mistakes and regrets and indecisions and humiliations that make us human and real and rational and relatable and all-around sane. Maybe we should just take time to sit back and think about things in the past that are worth it. Or maybe we should let the past be and we should all just get on with our lives. Actually, why can’t we do both? Why can’t we live in the past and create a new future and alter the present while staying the same in a different dimension where we have a different life but are ultimately the same person and hardly understand our own self? If we look past the differences and backgrounds and voices and languages and colors and genders and music and singing and height and weight and shoe size and waist lines then maybe we could see that we are really all the same because we really don’t need all these things to be friends. These words are all jumbled and mumbled and bumbled and fumbled around but if we look closely enough they make sense in a sort or politically incorrect sort of way because it makes me laugh at all the things that I do wrong and what little I do right. The plus side; I don’t care. Well I do care, but not in the way that people think I would care or should care or could care or need to care because in the end it is fine because we all make mistakes and we all learn and even when you hear that someone doesn’t learn from their mistakes they really do. They just choose to do it again and they care about their actions and possibly reactions but they don’t care about other’s judgments or criticisms because everyone is entitled to their own opinions and it really all makes sense because it has to. If it didn’t make sense then you aren’t even reading because if you aren’t even reading then how are you learning but that’s not the question because you are learning to not like one thing or another that apparently I have said to offend some of you people. Haha, you people. That statement right there is offensive in itself because you people is singling out all those people I think or thought or misunderstood coming into the previous statement of two lines ago because I called you out for not learning from what you are reading because you can be so easily confused and so easily corrupted that you don’t really learn at all. You just learn to like it one way or another, or is it this way or that way? Everyone’s the same in God’s eyes as they say, but in the same sentence we are all unique in God’s eyes. I guess most folks won’t understand how that makes sense and if they are different from us then we complain and say they are unequal or unfit. This last sentence rings true with a lot of people I know, not specifically naming anyone due to copyright issues, but they hate the fact that our new president is black because, well, he is black and clearly not fit to lead because he is different and his skin is much darker and his lips are bigger and he is a radical and he is black. Oh wait, did I already say that? I’m not saying it is wrong to have those ideals and beliefs because we are all entitled to our own opinions but seriously though when you look at the pros and the cons and the lefts and the rights and the rights and the wrongs who is to say they aren’t on an equal playing field? Do we not all make mistakes? Or is it because we are black or white or brown or yellow or red or male or female or old or young or disabled or a genius or left-handed or right-handed that makes us smarter or better than one or the other person sitting to our left or right? We are so simple-minded and self-centered and conceited that we fail to see the other colors and sizes and achievements of others. We try so hard to be the center of attention that we act like we aren’t the center of attention to gain attention for ourselves because we don’t find it necessary to turn our attention to the attentions of others that need attending to because they are hurt or in need or poor and sick or disabled or ill or too smart for their own good that really they need the attention. Why can’t we just sit back and see the big picture in front of our eyes because if you think about it, it wouldn’t be a surprise. The things we would see would drastically change our perception of what reality really is. After saying that last sentence I had to pause and think because would we ever really sit back and think about the others in need or would we look and see a bunch of people not up to our standards and would we never take the time out of awfully busy schedules to help those other people? Our schedules are so busy these days that we are consumed with school and work and video games and smoking and drinking and eating and killing and television and racism and hatred and jokes and refrigerators that we fail to take the time to ever take time to think about others and their very serious situations. We all make jokes and we all look past because we are all to conformed to the idea that rich Is the best and that being the winner is what really matters. We are under the impression that winning is everything and that if we win we will know everything and that if we win we will get everything and if we win we will be everybody’s best friend and if we win we will be the kings and queens of everything. I hope that is not truly the case in everyone’s situation because if it is then I am sorely mistaken but I see hope in the eyes of the little kids that need help everyday and I try and help as much as I can but I am not perfect and nobody is. We all sit back and say the things I am saying now but what it really comes down to is action and reaction of those things that we do. Like the kids that learn from their mistakes. We can all do things that can garner attention, but are we going to do things for ourselves, or do we care enough for others to not do such things? We can try and help others and fail and be ridiculed by others and heckled by some, but in the end will we care if those other people care? People may read this and say I’m a hypocrite because I might not do everything that I have written in this statement and I am truly sorry. I am just trying to inform. Maybe everything I say is just a fool babbling. Maybe I make no sense at all because sometimes that happens and occurs and results from the fact that people have faith in me so I write things that I think might have a chance to make a difference. Can we sit there and read this and truly feel inspired to make a difference in someone else’s like or do we just see words on a screen written by someone who is an obvious liar and is just plain dumb and stupid and foolish and hypocritical and blind and absurd and lousy and everything else that makes me less than them? I hope for peace and prosperity and all those good things but I truly wish we could open our eyes and see the oppression and dictation and starvation and deforestation and homelessness and remoteness and conformation and abandonment and destruction that occurs every day due to our lack of trying to make a better world, not for ourselves, but for others. Do we really feel satisfied sitting around all day doing nothing knowing that there are other people out there that are working for less than a dollar an hour while working ridiculous hours and are no older than 12 because they need to survive and feed their families and shelter their families and care for the families and provide for their families? I’m sorry that I haven’t done enough for others and I hope to change and I hope we can all change because it is a change we need. We apparently don’t like the change we got, due to differences that are seen and unseen, told and untold, heard and unheard, and we make a big deal about it to mask our own fears because it is the easy way out and we are too accustomed to the easy way that we forget how to make it and survive and we feel that if we make it through an eight hour day we have survived and as long as our clothes are dry in the morning we have survived and as long as the restaurants are still open we have survived. Ha, it is quite funny to think about it you sit and think about it because it is just an anomaly in societies to see these types of things happen and it makes me laugh and cry and sigh and cough and hurt and smile and fall and fail and chuckle and sing and yell and scream and wonder if what we are here for is really what we are here for. Maybe if the past and the future and the present all collided we would be fine because it would be utter chaos and we would all be confused and lost and scared and hopeless and stranded and dead. Maybe if we just loved a little more, lived a little better, lost a little less, left a while later, lied not as much we would be alright. Maybe if we just didn’t think about what others thought about us and we thought about how we could help others, we would be a little better off. Maybe if we could just see past the differences and the indecision and the indiscretion and the unwillingness to change and the colorblindness and the handicaps and the I.Q. points and the shoe sizes we would be fine. Maybe if we just slapped each other in the face and hugged after and kissed after and loved after and laughed after and we made up after and we were grudge-less after, we would be, well I don’t know how to put this. Maybe we could all just think a little bit. Maybe we could just listen to someone else. Maybe we could just do something. Maybe we could just smile a little more. Maybe we could do this or that. Maybe we could shut up and go do it right now. Maybe, just maybe, I’m done.

Memoirs

so there is someone that i have started having feelings for again. and it may seem odd and strange, but for some reason i can't get her out of my head. usually it is lo that is stuck on my mind but since yesterday i have had this other girl on my mind. i ran across some old emails that i had and it made me think. however, she is with some other guy and if she is happy than that is good. all i want is for her to be happy. but i don't know what to do. it is tough. well just figured i'd throw something up because i haven't written in awhile...

Defiance

So I was just watching television in my home and I saw a terrible, terrible, tragedy. "Slumdog Millionaire" superstar Azharuddin Ismail watched the place he called home, a shack in Mumbai, bulldozed to the ground right in front of his eyes. What has the world come to when a child that is revered as a star doesn't even have a home to go to because the government destroyed it? I saw him crying on the television. I saw the tears streaming down his face. What a sad story. He was promised a proper home after the movie, which grossed over 300 million dollars in box offices. Get with it world. Hopefully this sheds a little bit more light on the shit that happens everyday to kids just like him. They lose their homes every day and they cry and they hurt. We need to do something about this. Something....Anything....

I just wanted to say something about it. Really pissed me off.

"....But on the real. Yes I will. I'll destroy it and then rebuild."

And this is how we do. Yo, I do what i gotta do it cause I do it fo my dogs. That's right. We the best and we run the city. Show em' how we do it.

sittin in the whip doin 80 in a 10. we goin to get our dro and then we do it all again. we get so high up in the sky it makes the planes look like ants. and while these other niggas trippin we are chillin and straight rippin off the blunt of a lifetime. man i'm so fly. i can't believe i'm shining like the sun up in the sky. cause i never thought i'd be where i've been trying for all along. every time i did it right these other haters said it was wrong. but i've dealt with my adversity and overcome the pain. the shit i do on my songs is so utterly insane. the try to scan my brain. but i ain't lettin them in. i will shut them out and i will keep them on that thin, line. i don't have the time to fuck with ya'll because i got some shit to do so maybe later give ya a call. but i doubt it. you are always overcrowded. i won't allow it. i'm running down the path like i'm ricky stealin bases. i'm just gettin my foot in the door and there is nothing i can do so while you haters doin yourselves your girl's doin me too.

Just a little somethin I put together just now. I'm just tryin to get noticed by anyone and everyone. You know what I mean though? Just gettin a break with any sort of musical artist is like a miracle. But I can't sit and complain about it. I gotta do something about it. I gotta go out and get my own. It's my time to shine baby. Yeah.

Drake, Wayne, Wale, Cudi, Millz <---Check out these boys. Their shit is hot and it drops hard. Cudi gets on some nasty beats. Weezy and Drizzy do their thing. Wale just spits fire on the track. Millz is just a hard go-getter. He don't give a fuck.

Awaken the Skies...

lost amongst the stars and the sea, desperately searching for a hope that is rarely seen, we see the darkness begin to close all around us. life begins to fade into the distant wind as it sweeps through our souls and steals our thoughts. losing all control we spiral down into a wave of shallow hell, scrambling for an answer to this never-ending question. where were you when we needed you most? making us question the things that we thought we truths. the proof speaks for itself. left for dead in the abyss of despair, a light shines through. throwing all our weight into no particular direction, we reach for it. it eludes us with the blink of an eye and it seems like all light has simmered away. then it appears again. new hopes arise. we will defeat our enemies. keep them at bay while we escape into our avalon. let us be discrete and silent. we shall forever walk among the living, never disturbed and always together. we are the ones who hold the key. we are the ones you truly need.

Played bad until we got rained on. Then it was back to doing nothing. Finished my first final this morning too. Think I did pretty well. Who knows though right? Hopefully I did well enough to pass the class. Fuck it I say. I hope I did well, but I mean, I got time. I just got to get my shit together right? Yeah...Probably be back later....and, this is the remix baby.

Brainstorming

Another day. Played golf yesterday and did awful. I just can't get down on myself. The number of times I have played can be counted on one hand and that means that I am not good enough to get pissed off at myself. So fuck it I say and I will go play tomorrow. My grandma is having surgery on her eye today. Hopefully that goes well. Whenever any of my grandparents are in the hospital it scares me. My grandpa has had too many close calls. My grandma has had them too. Stupid hospital. I also have to work today, great. 4-8 seems like a reasonable time, but if you worked there you'll know that it will feel more like ten hours than four.

Musically speaking, there isn't much that is new. I am just trying to find stuff that I can really get into. Most of my time goes to Drake and Lil' Weezy because they are the shit right now. The things they are doing are out of this world. I was trying to throw some lyrics together today but failed. It's alright though I got a lot of time.

I know I just started this blog and I don't think I have any readers, but to touch upon what I wrote about the other day, I want to start a charity or something that I can have people send things in that I can send over to those kids that are dying or just something that can help them out in the least bit. I want to help, but I want it to be unique and original. I would love to just send all of my stuff over there, but unfortunately I can't do that. I am trying to brainstorm some ideas and I am under the assumption that I need a little help to get going, but first I have to have the idea. So does anyone have any suggestions? Hit me up if you have something cool. I will be back later to update my idea spread.

Thanks for reading for those of you who have. I realize I am not overly interesting or amazing in any respect, but I do like to be appreciated once in awhile. Thanks to all my friends and family. My real friends though, not acquaintances. My real friends would take the time to read shit that I do and care, not just lie or do other shit that is disrespectful. I don't disrespect you. So take the time to take a look. Maybe you'll see something you like. Or maybe you'll help out a cause and become informed on subjects you wouldn't even think about sitting on the couch.

[Untitled] -

So I am just sitting at home bored as hell and I figured I would post something. I really have nothing to do. I played pretty well out on the course today since I didn't have to work. That was awesome. I lost my pitching wedge out there though. I should be getting it back tomorrow. Hopefully.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and whatnot and I have come to the conclusion that I am seemingly undeserving of my life, but I deserve it at the same time. I feel like I deserve it because I'm adopted and that is why I'm over here, because I was good enough to deserve this life. However, I don't really think I deserve it. When you see pictures of kids on the news in Darfur and China and North Korea and virtually everywhere in South America fighting in wars and doing crazy ass shit, not knowing if they are going to live to see 7, it gets to you. Why do they have to be over there, fighting grown men, and other children their age, in a war that is as much senseless as it is ruthless. Politics don't include kids under the age of 20 I suppose. What can we do? People protest and people riot and people preach and pray and yell and do everything they can, but you still see this sad shit every day and it kills me inside. They don't deserve to be over there dying. People who are ungrateful for the life they have deserve to die, and I don't stutter when I say that. I am so grateful for the life I have, and at the same time I would gladly give it up if it would save one of their lives. Instead of addition and the alphabet, they learn the art of killing and death. These people are oppressed and we aren't doing shit about it. I hate when America interferes with other countries shit (ie: Iran/Afganistan), but in this situation, I believe you have to do something. I was an Obama supporter and I still am. He has taken some heat and he has stumbled, but you don't see him lose his faith. I haven't lost my faith. If we lose faith, then what does the generation below us think? What do the kids who put their life on the line every day think? We cannot fail them. . .

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Anyone who is interested or just wants to learn needs to check out this site and look at the videos. Don't be afraid to be a samaritan.

I said a lot more than I thought was going to come up there. Breakfast tomorrow --->Bank for a new account --->Golf --->Back to Lafayette.

Check out: John Mayer, KiD CuDi, Wale, A Day To Remember